HER EMOTIONS : His Last Journey

By Sikiladi

She cared and still cares

Her own, her parents & siblings

Her children, her life partner

And even her in laws

She cares for them all

Unconditionally yet bound by love

Her love for them all is sacred

And then a day comes….

…when she loses Him to life

The one whom she considered …

…strongest of all

He had been her pillar of strength

Through her childhood, her schooling…

….and even after she was wedded 

…. even after she became a mother

He was there, always there

He stood as her strength

He had taught her resilience….

….and being independent

Like a dutiful offspring….

…despite her own little family

She continued to care for them

For her sibling was too young to know

She even taught the sibling…

…all that the parents didn’t do

She is that generation gap filler

Belonging to two worlds simultaneously

A foot here…and another there

She stood by in disbelief as he left

Her Hero for life, on a day dedicated to him

He left without bidding a bye to her….

…. without a bye to anyone

She had plans to meet him….

…to celebrate him and his being

The being just left!

A silence! A killing silence despite the chaos

She felt lonely among the cacophony of them all

People came, expressed grief as a formality

Some even expected her to cry

She, withheld herself, held on…

…for Her sake, the one who depended on Him

A Mother, a wife left widowed

And suddenly she felt a greater responsibility

She became the son of the family

And took charge of affairs of a last journey

His Last journey had to be handled respectfully

He deserved a lot more…she felt

How she wished … all those visitors didn’t come

How she wished to be left alone with her own

To cry out in the privacy of each other’s arms

Yet the society lives on its own terms

Grief is never to be borne alone….

…. they come as support. She accepted

What hurt her was the time for Final Rites

She was denied participation in the way she expected

Just because she was a daughter!

It is unfair! Very unfair! 

She leaned on her partner, helpless…

…. Her heart screamed to do the rituals

Yet…. She must follow the societal norms

A son is considered supreme in her society

Even though the rituals are traumatic on him

His young mind, his innocence smothered…

Smothered by rituals and systems scary to him

She felt betrayed but couldn’t complain

This is the time to care for her mother

Who needed her the most right now

She shifts her focus between her babies and mom

Both valuable to her …… relying on her

The pressure is immense!

The sentiments are a cocktail of emotions

Sadness, grief, concern, loneliness and responsibility

She looks for a foothold and finds one in Him

Her spouse, who is a partner in her grief 

Bearing the responsibility, standing by

Trying his best to evaluate the two worlds

He tries to find a balance and offers support

Together, they both feel like years just passed…

Making them more mature withing hours

In less than a day, they felt the burden of family

And He lay there, peaceful in his onward journey

Watching her from His ethereal form above his own body

He blessed her, the daughter who was closest to his heart