With every lick and twirl of my tongue I tasted the saltiness of my own blood. It wasn’t pleasant. It felt acidic. I had had an injury from a fall resulting in deep cuts on my lips outward and inwards. The bleeding had been immense, and continued even after the lips were joined together at various places where the cuts occurred. It was a challenge to bite into, to chew, to eat and drink anything due to not only the pain but also due to the bleeding and the discomfort in opening the mouth.

But I realized that till a few days after the injury, my lips would still be bleeding at times and the food that I consumed, had the added flavor of my own blood in it. I didn’t really like it but had to recover and regain my energy so food had to be consumed in its soft state.

It made me think about the several years that I had been consuming meats of various sorts. Was it not someone’s blood? The guilt started consuming me heavily. Here I was expressing a distaste and displeasure at my own blood and in pain with my own injury. Hadn’t I committed great sin by extending that pain to so many creatures that I consumed? Had I not consumed the blood of so many innocents without giving a second thought about the sin that I committed.

How can I ever repay the pain I imparted on others?

How can I ever atone for my wrongs?

I may have turned a vegetarian since past dozen years, but does that help me stay away from all the wrongs I already committed?

Tasting the blood was so unpleasant now, but I had relished it for several years, oblivious of the hurt and violence caused to satiate our taste buds. How thoughtless we humans can be. I wonder if I can come out of this guilt ever.