ETIQUETTE : a guestly gesture


They speak of etiquette yet they practice it not. They come as visitors during your joyous times or that of bereavement yet they poke their nose into the depths of your house. Well dressed is definitely not a sign of being polished as a person for they do appear well dressed. Yet, they barge into the privacy of your bedrooms without seeking approvals. I had that experience when my guests just walked into any room of the house as I served tea and biscuits to the rest. As if that wasn’t ill mannerism enough one of them had the audacity to comment on the choice of curtains in one of the bedrooms.

How often do we come across those not so very close friends who try to intrude into your lifestyles without hesitation?

salt pepper

Basic table manners are taught to children by us adults yet we slip out on those manners ourselves. Being polite to the hosts by appreciating the table layout and food is but a very basic mannerism. How many of us are guilty of not doing so? As a little kid I had learnt not to ask for extra condiments when invited for a meal. The minute I ask for the salt shaker or tabasco sauce I am proving a point that the food is cooked below my expectation and I need to zest it up to my taste. The hosts intention undoubtedly is to serve the best possible food hence by my action I must not insult that intention.


Not everyone is trained towards the table etiquette to perfection, so, someone not using the right knife or fork for the right product must not be sneered upon by us. I would rather ignore and let the person learn by observing others without being critical. By remaining quiet at the time one displays one’s own etiquette and class.

Then comes the crockery. I may be invited to a not very affluent friend’s place and all I do there is start making comparisons of his/her crockery with My Bone China imported crockery. This friend of mine might even be using disposable crockery to make do with her lack of good stuff qualitatively and quantitatively yet is excited to invite friends over. She may have worked up for a few days towards this lunch/dinner preparation and yet I become a spoiler by drawing that big comparison and busting off his/her happiness. All his/her efforts at being a great host go down the drain for my lack of etiquette.

Besides maneuvering the house, the food and tableware there is yet another aspect of displaying one’s basic mannerisms when it comes to using the restroom in someone’s house. We all feel we are perfect and know it all but again err when it comes to practice. The rule follows not only when you are at someone else’s house but this needs to be observed at public places, restaurants, places of work as well as one’s own house.


Use the toilet but please do not forget that there are others who shall use it after you so please leave it in a clean condition. Besides remembering to flush post the use it is appropriate to place the lid on the toilet seat. This helps maintain the basic dignity for both male and female users.

Use the sink and do not forget to leave that clean too. It can be very unpleasant for someone to find water splashed all around, particles residue or hair on the sink. Brush your hair if you must but ensure your hair is not scattered around the sink. It will be uncouth on my part to leave the tap handle all soapy and smudgy so it is best to wipe off. Need this be mentioned for the curious ones to not mess around with someone’s bathroom drawers or even open them as that is none of your business.

Etiquette is not about all about how one presents oneself while being a guest somewhere. It is the basic code of conduct one begins with. Having received an invitation I must ensure that I reply within the given time frame accepting or giving regret ref the invite. It is impolite to keep the host wondering about my presence at the event by not responding to the RSVP.


It is prudent to go prepared with flowers or a gift of some sort if it is a formal invitation. For a casual get together I can take the liberty to prepare a dish with the knowledge of the host to lessen the burden upon him/her. Lastly I mustn’t forget to display my polite behavior by expressing thankfulness at being invited. It is good to send a message of thanks after having attended which gives the host a sense of pleasure and satisfaction that he/she did a good job.

My own gestures compliment my style!


Photo Credits : Google images

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